My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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