if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
