Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
