i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
