Tell her she can't have a vagina
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When are your genitals available?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
