Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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