I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
