what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize