yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball