Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.

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(301): She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle. http://tfl.nu/0dzx

Replies (32) Good night (899) Bad night (4237)
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(520): View more from Arizona

he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it

(987): View more from

im ashamed your my cousin

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(520): he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it (987): im ashamed your my cousin http://tfl.nu/oj53

Replies (15) Good night (1202) Bad night (3507)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man

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(405): Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man http://tfl.nu/vdn4

Replies (9) Good night (4831) Bad night (1034)
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(716): View more from New York

I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount

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(716): I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount http://tfl.nu/p3jz

Replies (10) Good night (5404) Bad night (1282)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.

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(307): I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American. http://tfl.nu/4si2

Replies (93) Good night (1728) Bad night (9397)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?

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(701): Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire? http://tfl.nu/pmju

Replies (3) Good night (1535) Bad night (2080)
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(425): View more from Washington

WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!

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(425): WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?! http://tfl.nu/ccm6

Replies (7) Good night (2827) Bad night (1296)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left

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(330): I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left http://tfl.nu/2seq

Replies (16) Good night (957) Bad night (2537)
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(425): View more from Washington

Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.

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(425): Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it. http://tfl.nu/epgz

Replies (2) Good night (905) Bad night (1349)
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(914): View more from New York

Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?

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(914): Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion? http://tfl.nu/d942

Replies (0) Good night (841) Bad night (734)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat

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(608): Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles? (1-608): Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat http://tfl.nu/wmfp

Replies (3) Good night (800) Bad night (512)
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(631): View more from New York

he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader

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(631): he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader http://tfl.nu/jd8g

Replies (6) Good night (813) Bad night (599)
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(425): View more from Washington

YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you

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(425): YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you http://tfl.nu/ds9i

Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (295)
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(914): View more from New York

Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.

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(914): Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck. http://tfl.nu/lycc

Replies (2) Good night (793) Bad night (430)
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(516): View more from New York

I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.

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(516): I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly. http://tfl.nu/c92d

Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (368)

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