Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?

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(641): View more from Iowa

just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now

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(630): View more from Illinois

I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up

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These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Read it at the TFLN blog
(530): View more from California

Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.

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(518): View more from New York

Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.

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(312): View more from Illinois

I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball

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