Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Succeeded.

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  (404): I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life? (503): Succeeded. http://tfl.nu/i020
  Replies (7) Good night (4601) Bad night (642)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.

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  (817): If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral. http://tfl.nu/qqbj
  Replies (13) Good night (3134) Bad night (623)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower

  (571): View more from Virginia

  She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task

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  (540): Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower (571): She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task http://tfl.nu/xi7t
  Replies (11) Good night (2865) Bad night (794)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??

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  (512): my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college?? http://tfl.nu/kvis
  Replies (62) Good night (3833) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n

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  (540): david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n http://tfl.nu/9r0h
  Replies (15) Good night (3162) Bad night (786)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...

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  (360): I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds... http://tfl.nu/1y93
  Replies (16) Good night (1373) Bad night (6106)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.

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  (973): I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning. http://tfl.nu/dg43
  Replies (4) Good night (3783) Bad night (898)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.

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  (704): This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'. http://tfl.nu/12fd
  Replies (9) Good night (775) Bad night (2359)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.

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  (603): He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car. http://tfl.nu/1mzx
  Replies (50) Good night (7963) Bad night (895)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?

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  (715): Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him? http://tfl.nu/jy7k
  Replies (5) Good night (1859) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Score one for dad.

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  (541): Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job. (503): Score one for dad. http://tfl.nu/kgah
  Replies (6) Good night (2063) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted

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  (860): I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted http://tfl.nu/pesj
  Replies (6) Good night (915) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos

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  (310): When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos http://tfl.nu/izqt
  Replies (6) Good night (792) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?

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  (801): Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention? http://tfl.nu/lgvd
  Replies (10) Good night (386) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.

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  (785): After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life. http://tfl.nu/6x6s
  Replies (3) Good night (256) Bad night (447)

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