you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
