Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
