after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
