So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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