The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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