1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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