I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
