I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Will you blow on my dice?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
