Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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