I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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