marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Less talking, more tequila
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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