I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize