Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
