Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
