Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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