handjob tips. give me some.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
