sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
