worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
