doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
