My friends, they love my intelligence
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
