Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I think we might need a safe word for this...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
