I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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