She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
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And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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