I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
