i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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