Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
