ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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