new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
