Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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