p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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