at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
