I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.