great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
