I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I can't put those talents on a resume
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
