Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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