Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
