Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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