worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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