I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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