She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Four minutes until I can fart!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize