hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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