I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
