didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
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The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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