Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
