I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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