Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize